ALEXIS.

fakkkkkkkazzz

but im just randomly really bummed...ok well i do know why

well i came home early tonight cause im sooo0o tired and also i have to get up early to take placement tests for NOVA...that dosent mean im going there, its just for summer classes.

1. i wish you lived in va because youre my bestest friend in the whole world and i miss you so much...even though you are the weirdest person ive ever met and put posionous acid that causes blindness in my eye. thanks.

2. i miss you and id like to see you more, i dont know why i dont. well maybe cause you have like 6 jobs. i love coming to visit you cause youre always tryin to get me drunk. also its so cute when you say "i love you". youre probly my best friend and youre fucking hilarious.

3. youre a cute girly, weve known eachother for 2 yrs now (and excluding summer time) weve been besties the whole time. youre so funny and crazy and i love it cause we can be weird together. youve been there for me the day we met and you are always willing to listen.

4. over this year we have become so much more closer and im sooo glad because sometimes youre the only one who keeps me sane. i love making fun of bad ppl with you because its so funny to me. also, i love giggling with you when we go on road trips and get close to our destination just because we know its going to be so amazing...lookin forward to many more cutie pie.

5. ive known you for freakin 12 yrs, and weve been bffZ for all that time except maybe a couple months like when i used to throw rocks at your dog or something? thanks for the haircut, i like it and i think your gonna be so awesome at this stuff by the time you are done with school.

6. im glad you decided to come to madison this year and it wouldnt be the same without you. i remember when i first met you you made me feel so awkward and uncomfortable cause you were so quiet but now i love how we are closer and no longer awkward together.

7. well ive only known you for a couple of months too, but youre cool and i love being around you because you are always sooo hyper and ready for anything. you have some pretty sick sleepovers except your house is sooooo creepy...i still love you though

8. oh hey i think i might have a crush on you, k thnx.

9. i miss you and too bad you live far away. i liked last year when you still lived here becasue all of our krew would have so much fun even if we were just doing nothing and chillin in vienna.

10. you annoy me sometimes but i still love you and im glad that we are friends. ive only known you for a couple of months but i feel like its been years and i know i can talk to you about anything.

11. i havent seen you in so long even though you live really close. which is totally lame...fix thatttt!

12. some days over spring break were good chill sessionz cause we chilled. also the only reason i go to some classes are cause youre there and it would suck if you werent. im glad i met you this yr.



thats all i have...you can probly guess who's who but its kinda hard to keep em secret but let them know who they are ya know what im sayin?

P.S why are my faces these stupid goat things? they are pretty lame, someone hack me and change dem faces
P.P.S my nose is like rock solid...i cant breathe through it and i used that nose spray like 28458 times and then after nikki and nicole tell me its bad so uh how do i make it not hard to breathe? any suggestions?????????????K THNX!

love,
alexis

what does P.S stand for?

can someone please give me either $950 to go to hawaii this summer or $1000 for school and apartment next year? thanks, thats really nice of you guys, i appreiciate it. who wants to come with me next wednesday to get touch ups cause i dont wanna go by myself.....
school suckkks, i still have about 3 more hours and my next class is chemistry which i just realized if i dont pass i wont graduate and i dont know if im going to pass it. so anyone who knows a lot about that kinda shit, i need your hellllllllllllp.

today was literally the worst day of my life. first at school i was forced to go to this meeting with my teachers, my parents and my counselor. we all sat at this long table and i was at the head of the table and everyone else was around me just starring at me. they all took turns at telling me what a shitty person i am, even though now that i apply myself i am getting A's and B's but i LOVE how no one pointed that out and said hey good job...i guess thats what pissed me off the most, its like they are breathing down your neck the whole time youre doing terrible telling you youre a bad person and then when you finally get good grades no one even notices. i am working my fucking ass off and i guess it dosent pay off. then after that i had to go straight to tutoring which was so fucking bad and i hate every single person in that place. when i got home from sitting in traffic for 30 minutes my parents made me go to anothhhher meeting with the like leader of tutoring or whatever and for 50 minutes i had to take the shit of her and my parents once again telling me how much i suck. i had to sit there and take it, and it was the worst thnig ever because that stupid fucking bitch was telling me that i cant read and im at the level of a 10 year old. she told me i dont try anything and i am working so hard, i tried to talk and justify myself but every time i opened my mouth someone interupted me to remind me that i suck at life. right now i hear my parents talking shit about me and how dissappointed they are. today my dad told me to my face he dosent like me and that im a huge disappointement. what do i do when the ppl who supposedly are always there for you dont love you, and dont help you but tell you how bad you are and how they dont fucking like you. no one understands the extreme stress im at right now, school is so hard for me and i have so many hard classes because im making up all the shit that hawaii took me back a year. everyone says im over reacting and its not hard well i hope anyone who fucking says that to me dies, i really do. i hate my life so much and im sick of being treated like shit and i cant take it anymore. i hate waking up in the mornings and have to do this every day, i hate being depressed and i hate when this happens. im at the worst point in my life and constantly want to just fucking run away. i kinda dont want to see anyone anymore, because nothing makes me happy anymore. i dont even miss hawaii, i dont miss anything i just want to go away. my mom just told me she hates me and its one of the worst things in the world. im so fucking piised at that stupid lady from tutoring and i hope she dies. i keep saying the same things over again but i cant stop thinking about stuff, i dont sleep anymroe because they tell me i wont get into college and i realize they are right. how do things get this baddd i fuckkkking hate my life, i hate my parents, i hate my school, i fucking hate tutoring, and single person there. what do i do?

i decided to write in my live journal cause i dont want to talk to anyone now. and i know no one reads this cause i never write in it. im so sick of being treated like shit from all of my friends, right now i pretty much hate everyone cause they are huge assholes. everyone only cares about them selves or boys. like its great hanging out with some ppl but then you add boys and they are so fucking stupid and i ts getting to be so bad. why do i even go out if no one even knows im there. like last weekend, fuck that shit. and this weekend has been so bad, i mean i was just trying to have a good time cause it was like my birthday weekend i guess, but no one cared, a lot of ppl forgot about my birthday. whatever. the only good time this weekend was oh wait nm. it was good seeing mike and ben after like 6 months though, i miss seeing them. i dont understand why people are huge ass holes to me, i think i might be annoying, if so fucking tell me so i can find new friends. i was talking to nicole, before she left me without a ride tonight, that i dont have any other friends cause i was so into my group of friends that i shut other people out and i fucked up relationships with them so im pretty much stuck with the people i hang out with. im not good at making new freinds casue apparently i suck at life? i dont know you tell me why. right now, i hate my life soooo much. if highschool was over right now and i still felt this way, id move back to hawaii in an instant. but you know, the people in hawaii dont even miss me, except maybe tera, who i miss so much, shes the only person who will ever completely understand me and i wish i had her to hug right now and tell me what to do...tera is the greatest person in the world and my best friend ever i need her so much right now. and the worst thing is i cant, shes so far away. i just wish that i wasnt stupid, i wish ppl didnt hate me and treat me like shit. im under so much stress right now that any small thing kills me so much, and i hate feeling that way and i hate girls because they create so much drama. lydia thanks for being the only person who was there for me this weekend. and thank you for being a good person and realizing you hurt me and saying sorry for it,i appriciate it. i love you and hate being mad at you cause your my best freind in va, i wish we were closer but theres other ppl you wanna be closer with. i dont know what to do, do i forgive everyone for being dicks and act like nothing happened or do i call them out and get new friends. i hattttttttttte my life. and i hate everyone who makes me feel this way.

is very confusing and i dont know how to use it, so lydia is gonna make it cute for me this weekend.